L1other
śrama-jala-niviḍāṁ nimīlitākṣīṁ
śrama-jala-niviḍām[her body] thick with the water of exertion — beaded all over with sweat acc. sg., describing the gopī of L4जिसका शरीर श्रम के जल (पसीने) से सना हुआ है
nimīlitākṣīmher eyes fallen shutजिसकी आँखें मुँदी हुई हैं
śrama-jala-niviḍām — dense with sweat, the water of exertion; nimīlita-akṣīm — her eyes closed.
पसीने से सनी हुई, आँखें मुँदी हुई [उस गोपी को]…
Her body is beaded thick with sweat, the water of her exertion. Her eyes have fallen shut.
उसका शरीर पसीने से भीगा हुआ है। उसकी आँखें मुँदी हुई हैं।
This whole verse is the example (yathā) for mohānta-surata-kṣamā from 5.27 — the heroine who can carry love-play through to its swooning close. Every line here describes her at that close. Both commentators take Kṛṣṇa to be the speaker.
L2other
ślatha-cikurām anadhīna-bāhu-vallīm |
ślatha-cikurāmher hair slack and undoneजिसके केश ढीले (बिखरे) हुए हैं
anadhīna-bāhu-vallīmher creeper-like arms no longer under her own command — gone limp an-adhīna = not subject to [her will]जिसकी लता-सी भुजाएँ [अपने] वश में नहीं हैं
ślatha-cikurām — with loosened hair; anadhīna-bāhu-vallīm — her vine-like arms not answering to her.
ढीले केशों वाली, जिसकी लता-सी बाँहें वश में नहीं रहीं…
Her hair has come loose. Her slender, creeper-like arms hang limp, no longer answering to her will.
उसके केश बिखरे हुए हैं। उसकी लता-सी बाँहें अपने वश में नहीं रहीं।
L3other
mudita-manasam asmṛtānya-bhāvāṁ
mudita-manasamher mind full of delightजिसका मन प्रसन्न है
asmṛtānya-bhāvāmhaving forgotten everything else — no other thing left in her mind a-smṛta-anya-bhāvā, bahuvrīhi: 'she by whom no other thing is remembered'जिसे अन्य किसी बात का स्मरण नहीं रहा
mudita-manasam — whose mind is glad; asmṛta-anya-bhāvām — who has forgotten every other thing.
प्रसन्न मन वाली, जिसे और कुछ स्मरण नहीं…
Her mind is full of delight. She has forgotten everything else — nothing else remains in her awareness.
उसका मन प्रसन्न है। उसे और किसी बात की सुध नहीं रही।
L4other
rati-śayane niśi gopikāṁ smarāmi ||
rati-śayaneon the bed of love-play loc., the placeरति की शय्या पर
niśiin the night loc. of timeरात के समय
gopikāmthe gopī — herउस गोपिका को
smarāmiI call to mind, I rememberमैं स्मरण करता हूँ
rati-śayane — on the love-bed; niśi — at night; gopikām — the gopī; smarāmi — I remember.
रात में रति-शय्या पर [रही] उस गोपिका को मैं स्मरण करता हूँ।
On the bed of love-play, in the night — that gopī I remember. The 'I' is Kṛṣṇa: the whole verse is his own remembering.
रात के समय रति-शय्या पर रही उस गोपिका को मैं याद करता हूँ।
gopikām can also be heard as the indefinite kām, 'which / some gopī' — a reading Jīva takes up below. The mūla itself simply says 'the gopī.'
Commentary — decoded
Jīva Gosvāmī
s1avataranika
śrama-jala-niviḍām iti śrī-kṛṣṇasya bhāvanā-vacanam |
śrama-jala-niviḍām itithe verse beginning 'śrama-jala-niviḍām'"श्रमजलनिविडाम्" यह [श्लोक]
śrī-kṛṣṇasyais Śrī Kṛṣṇa's ownश्रीकृष्ण का
bhāvanā-vacanaman utterance of loving contemplation — words spoken out of absorbed rememberingभावना (चिन्तन) से भरा वचन है
śrama-jala-niviḍām iti — the verse 'śrama-jala-niviḍām'; śrī-kṛṣṇasya — is Kṛṣṇa's; bhāvanā-vacanam — an utterance of contemplation.
"श्रमजलनिविडाम्" यह श्रीकृष्ण का भावनामय वचन है।
Jīva first fixes the speaker. This verse is Kṛṣṇa's own words — and not plain narration but bhāvanā-vacana, speech pouring out of his absorbed inner remembering.
यह श्लोक श्रीकृष्ण के मन की भावना का कथन है।
bhāvanā = intent contemplation, imaginative dwelling on the beloved; a bhāvanā-vacana voices that inward absorption rather than reporting a fact.
s2gloss
kiṁ tu so’pi kāṁ smarāmīty eva |
kiṁ tuyet — one nuance in how he says itपरन्तु
so'pieven he, Kṛṣṇa himselfवह (कृष्ण) भी
kāṁ smarāmi ity eva[speaks] only as 'which gopī is it that I remember!'"कां स्मरामि" (किसका स्मरण करूँ) — बस इतना ही [कहता है]
kiṁ tu — but; saḥ api — even he; kām smarāmi iti eva — just as 'which one do I remember'.
परन्तु वह भी "किसका स्मरण करूँ" — इतना ही [कहता है]।
But note how he says it. Even Kṛṣṇa keeps her unnamed — the phrase runs 'which gopī is it that I remember!' He does not name her; the wonder of the remembering leaves her indefinite.
पर वह भी केवल "किसका स्मरण करूँ" इतना ही कहता है।
Jīva reads the verse's gopikām as kām, the indefinite / interrogative 'which, some' — Kṛṣṇa remembers 'a certain gopī' without naming her. Left as Jīva gives it, not resolved into a named heroine.
s3alternative
murajid amuṁ nahi vismṛtiṁ nināya iti pāṭhe subalasya bhāvanā-mayaṁ vacanam ||
murajid amuṁ nahi vismṛtiṁ nināya'Kṛṣṇa, Mura's foe, never led this one into forgetting' — the words of the variant fourth line"मुरजित् (कृष्ण) ने उसको विस्मृति में नहीं पहुँचाया (भुलाया नहीं)"
iti pāṭhein the reading where the last line runs soऐसा पाठ होने पर (इस पाठान्तर में)
subalasyait is Subala'sसुबल का
bhāvanā-mayaṁ vacanaman utterance steeped through and through in loving contemplationभावना से भरा वचन है
murajit amum nahi vismṛtim nināya iti pāṭhe — in the reading '...murajid amuṁ nahi vismṛtiṁ nināya'; subalasya — [it is] Subala's; bhāvanā-mayaṁ vacanam — a contemplation-filled utterance.
"मुरजित् ने उसको विस्मृति में नहीं पहुँचाया" — ऐसे पाठ में यह सुबल का भावनामय वचन है।
There is a second textual reading (pāṭha) of the last line: 'murajid amuṁ nahi vismṛtiṁ nināya' — 'Kṛṣṇa, the slayer of Mura, never let this one slip into forgetting.' On that reading the speaker changes: no longer Kṛṣṇa in the first person, but Subala — and his words too are steeped in bhāvanā, loving contemplation of the pair. Left standing as a variant; Jīva does not choose between the two.
जहाँ पाठ "मुरजित् ने उसे भुलाया नहीं" है, वहाँ यह सुबल के मन की भावना का वचन है।
murajit = 'conqueror of Mura,' a name of Kṛṣṇa; nināya = 'led, brought' (perfect of nī); vismṛtiṁ nināya = 'brought [this one] to forgetfulness.' The main reading ends smarāmi ('I remember,' Kṛṣṇa in the first person); this variant ends nināya ('he did not lead [her] into forgetting,' Subala speaking about Kṛṣṇa). amum is the accusative object 'this one.'
यह पाठान्तर वक्ता को बदल देता है — मूल पाठ में यह कृष्ण का वचन है, इस पाठ में सुबल का। दोनों पाठ अपनी-अपनी जगह बने रहते हैं।
Viśvanātha Cakravartī
s1avataranika
kiṁ dhārayasīti subalena pṛṣṭaḥ śrī-kṛṣṇa āha—śrameti |
kiṁ dhārayasi iti'What are you dwelling on?' — so runs the question"तुम [मन में] किसे धारण कर रहे हो?" ऐसा [पूछने पर]
subalena pṛṣṭaḥwhen asked by Subalaसुबल के द्वारा पूछे जाने पर
śrī-kṛṣṇa āhaŚrī Kṛṣṇa answersश्रीकृष्ण कहते हैं
śrametiwith the verse beginning 'śrama'"श्रम..." [यह श्लोक]
kiṁ dhārayasi iti — 'what are you holding in mind?'; subalena pṛṣṭaḥ — asked by Subala; śrī-kṛṣṇaḥ āha — Kṛṣṇa says; śrama iti — 'śrama...'.
"तुम किसे [मन में] धर रहे हो?" — सुबल के पूछने पर श्रीकृष्ण "श्रम..." [यह श्लोक] कहते हैं।
Viśvanātha sets the scene. Subala asks him, 'What are you dwelling on?' (kiṁ dhārayasi) — and in answer Kṛṣṇa speaks this verse, 'śrama...'. So the verse is Kṛṣṇa's spoken reply to his friend.
सुबल ने पूछा — "तुम किसका ध्यान धर रहे हो?" इस पर श्रीकृष्ण "श्रम..." यह श्लोक कहते हैं।
s2gloss
atra śrama-jalānāṁ naiviḍyam |
atrahere, in the verseयहाँ
śrama-jalānāmit is of the sweat-drops, the water of exertionपसीने की बूँदों का
naiviḍyamthat the 'denseness' (niviḍa) is meant — she is thick with themसघन (निविड) होना [कहा गया है]
atra — here; śrama-jalānām — of the sweat-drops; naiviḍyam — [there is] denseness.
यहाँ पसीने के जल की सघनता [कही गई है]।
He takes the word niviḍa ('dense') first. What is dense is the sweat — the water of her exertion. She is covered thick with it.
यहाँ पसीने की बूँदों का घना होना बताया गया है।
s3gloss
cikurāṇām ślathatvaṁ, bāhu-vallyā daurbalyaṁ ca suratāntaṁ vyanakti |
cikurāṇām ślathatvamthe looseness of her hairकेशों का ढीलापन
bāhu-vallyā daurbalyaṁ caand the weakness of her creeper-armऔर लता-सी भुजा की दुर्बलता
suratāntamthe end of love-playसुरत (रति-क्रीड़ा) की समाप्ति को
vyanaktimake plain, revealप्रकट करते हैं
cikurāṇām ślathatvam — the hair's looseness; bāhu-vallyāḥ daurbalyam ca — and the arm-creeper's weakness; suratāntam — the close of love-play; vyanakti — reveal.
केशों का ढीलापन और लता-सी भुजाओं की दुर्बलता — [ये] सुरत की समाप्ति को प्रकट करते हैं।
Two more marks: the loosened hair and the limpness of her creeper-arms. Together these reveal (vyanakti) that love-play has just ended — this is its aftermath.
बिखरे केश और शिथिल बाँहें रति-क्रीड़ा के अन्त को दर्शाती हैं।
s4gloss
na smṛto’nyasya viṣayāśrayoddīpanāder bhāvo bhāvanā yasyā iti rati-sukhe viśeṣānubhavo mūrcchāyām api vartamānas tasyā mukha-mādhuryāt tadānīm avagata iti jñeyam |
na smṛto'nyasya ... bhāvo bhāvanā yasyāḥunpacking the bahuvrīhi asmṛtānya-bhāvā: 'she by whom no other bhāva is called to mind' — bhāva read here as bhāvanā, awarenessजिसके द्वारा अन्य का भाव स्मरण नहीं किया गया — [यहाँ] "भाव" ही "भावना" है
anyasya viṣayāśrayoddīpanādeḥthe 'other' spelled out in rasa's terms — another [mood's] object of love (viṣaya), its vessel (āśraya), its stimulants (uddīpana), and the restअर्थात् अन्य के विषय, आश्रय, उद्दीपन आदि का [भाव]
iti rati-sukhe viśeṣānubhavaḥso: a heightened experience in the joy of love— इस प्रकार रति-सुख में [उसका] विशेष अनुभव
mūrcchāyām api vartamānaḥpersisting even while she swoonsजो मूर्च्छा में भी विद्यमान था
tasyā mukha-mādhuryātwas read off the sweetness of her faceउसके मुख की माधुरी के कारण
tadānīm avagataḥknown [by Kṛṣṇa] at that very momentउस समय [कृष्ण के द्वारा] जान लिया गया
iti jñeyamso it is to be understood— ऐसा जानना चाहिए
na smṛtaḥ ... bhāvaḥ (= bhāvanā) yasyāḥ — she by whom no [other] awareness is held; anyasya viṣaya-āśraya-uddīpana-ādeḥ — of another's object, vessel, stimulus and so on; iti — thus; rati-sukhe viśeṣa-anubhavaḥ — a special experience in love's joy; mūrcchāyām api vartamānaḥ — present even in her swoon; tasyāḥ mukha-mādhuryāt — from the sweetness of her face; tadānīm avagataḥ — was known then [by Kṛṣṇa]; iti jñeyam — this is to be understood.
जिसे अन्य के विषय-आश्रय-उद्दीपन आदि का भाव स्मरण नहीं — रति-सुख में उसका वह विशेष अनुभव, जो मूर्च्छा में भी बना रहा, उसके मुख की माधुरी से उस समय [कृष्ण ने] जान लिया — ऐसा समझना चाहिए।
Now the phrase asmṛtānya-bhāvā. He reads the bahuvrīhi out: she is one 'by whom no other bhāva is remembered' — and bhāva here means bhāvanā, awareness. The 'other' is put in rasa's own terms: no other object of love (viṣaya), no other vessel of it (āśraya), no other excitant (uddīpana), and so on — none of these registers with her. From this Viśvanātha draws a further point: her heightened taste of love's joy kept going even inside her swoon (mūrcchā). And Kṛṣṇa knew it at that very moment — he read it off the sweetness of her face. That is how the phrase should be understood.
"अस्मृतान्यभावा" का अर्थ है — जिसे अन्य किसी विषय, आश्रय या उद्दीपन का भाव स्मरण नहीं रहता। रति-सुख का उसका विशेष अनुभव मूर्च्छा में भी बना रहा। उसे कृष्ण ने उसी समय उसके मुख की मधुरता से जान लिया। ऐसा समझना चाहिए।
viṣaya, āśraya, uddīpana are the working parts of a rasa: viṣaya is the object of love (here Kṛṣṇa), āśraya the one in whom the love resides (the gopī), uddīpana the stimulants that kindle it. 'No other viṣaya / āśraya / uddīpana' means no rival mood can enter — she is wholly given to this one. Note the explicit mūrcchā (swoon): this is exactly why the verse illustrates mohānta-surata-kṣamā, love-play that runs into a swoon.
s5objection
atra mudita-manasam ity asyāpuṣṭārthatvaṁ vaktuḥ prematvānulāpa-para-vaśāt soḍhavyam |
atra mudita-manasam ity asyahere, of the word 'mudita-manasam' — 'her mind delighted'यहाँ "मुदितमनसम्" इस पद का
apuṣṭārthatvamthe fact that its sense is not firmly supported — a slackness of meaningअर्थ का पुष्ट न होना (अर्थ की अपुष्टता)
vaktuḥon the speaker's sideवक्ता (कहने वाले) के
prematvānulāpa-para-vaśātbecause he is swept away by the fond, repeating love-talk that his love-state pours outक्योंकि वह प्रेमवश प्रलाप के वश में है — इस कारण
soḍhavyamis to be borne with, excusedसहन कर लेना चाहिए (क्षम्य है)
atra mudita-manasam iti asya — here, of the word 'delighted-minded'; apuṣṭa-arthatvam — the under-supported sense; vaktuḥ — on the speaker's part; prematva-anulāpa-para-vaśāt — because he is overcome by the love-born fond babble; soḍhavyam — should be tolerated.
यहाँ "मुदितमनसम्" पद का अर्थ पुष्ट नहीं — [पर] वक्ता के प्रेमवश प्रलाप में डूबे होने के कारण [यह] सहन कर लेना चाहिए।
An objection about the word mudita-manasam, 'her mind delighted.' How could Kṛṣṇa report her inner delight when her eyes are shut and she is swooning? The sense is apuṣṭa — not firmly grounded, a poetic slackness. Viśvanātha does not deny it; he says: bear with it. The speaker is Kṛṣṇa, swept away by the fond, repeating talk (anulāpa) that his love pours out — and love talks like this.
यहाँ "मुदितमनसम्" पद का अर्थ भली-भाँति पुष्ट नहीं होता। पर कहने वाला प्रेम के कारण प्रलाप में डूबा है, इसलिए इसे सह लेना चाहिए।
apuṣṭārtha is a recognized fault of sense in poetics — an assertion the situation does not fully warrant. anulāpa = fond repeated saying, the lover's helpless re-telling. The 'flaw' is excused as the natural overflow of prema, not corrected away.
s6reply
sa ca cirān mad-viṣaya-kāmāgni-santapta-manāḥ sā suratena mayādya mudita-manāḥ kṛtā ity ataḥ kṛtārtho’smīti svābhiprāyodgāra-maya iti ||
sa caand he, Kṛṣṇa, [thinks within]और वह [वचन]
cirān mad-viṣaya-kāmāgni-santapta-manāḥ sā'she, whose mind was long scorched by the fire of desire that has me for its object'"वह (गोपी) चिरकाल से मुझे विषय बनाकर [जलती] काम-अग्नि से सन्तप्त-मन वाली थी"
suratena mayādya mudita-manāḥ kṛtā'has today been made glad-minded by me through love-play'"आज मेरे द्वारा सुरत से [वह] प्रसन्न-मन कर दी गई"
ity ataḥ kṛtārtho'smi'and therefore I am fulfilled'"इसलिए मैं कृतार्थ हूँ"
iti svābhiprāyodgāra-mayaḥthus the word is nothing but the outpouring of his own inner intent— इस प्रकार [यह वचन] अपने अभिप्राय के उद्गार से भरा है
saḥ ca — and he; cirāt mad-viṣaya-kāma-agni-santapta-manāḥ sā — 'she, long scorched by the fire of desire for me'; suratena mayā adya mudita-manāḥ kṛtā — 'today made glad by me through love-play'; iti ataḥ kṛtārthaḥ asmi — 'therefore I am fulfilled'; iti sva-abhiprāya-udgāra-mayaḥ — thus [the word] is full of the outpouring of his own intent.
और वह वचन [इस भाव का है]: "वह चिरकाल से मुझ-विषयक काम-अग्नि से सन्तप्त-मन थी; आज मैंने सुरत से उसे प्रसन्न-मन कर दिया; इसलिए मैं कृतार्थ हूँ" — इस प्रकार यह [कृष्ण के] अपने अभिप्राय के उद्गार से भरा है।
Then he gives what the love-talk is really pouring out. Kṛṣṇa's own thought runs: 'She whose mind was so long scorched by the fire of longing for me — today, through love-play, I have made her glad at heart; and so I am fulfilled (kṛtārtha).' So 'mudita-manasam' is not a cool report of her state; it is the overflow of Kṛṣṇa's own intent — his joy that he has at last gladdened the beloved who so long burned for him.
वह वचन कृष्ण के हृदय का उद्गार है — "वह बहुत समय से मुझे पाने की काम-अग्नि से जली-सुलगती रही; आज मैंने रति से उसे प्रसन्न कर दिया; सो मैं कृतार्थ हूँ।" इसी अपने अभिप्राय से वह ऐसा कहता है।
This answers s5. The word's warrant is not an observation of her mind but Kṛṣṇa's svābhiprāya — his own feeling of fulfillment at having gladdened the beloved who had so long yearned for him.